July Update

Firstly, welcome to our website... Bit rough and ready, but does the job required! A number of people have had trouble getting emails from us so I hope that this will be more reliable. There are some pictures if you hunt around.

I am guessing that there are probably about half of you who are aware that the most recent news for us is that we are going to be heading home at the beginning of next month... So perhaps our last update before we see you all again? It seems to us like there is still a long way to go until then, and certainly we still have plenty to organise, but our plans so far have come together quite smoothly and we're hoping that all the rest will come together in the same way. We're planning to arrive back in the UK in mid-August, perhaps after a short stay in Singapore on our way home. And we can't wait to see everyone again... Once again it requires us to go through the difficult process of letting go of things that are important to us. It will be especially sad leaving Chris, Niccy and the Childerbeasts behind - Arguably the best thing about being here. We will never regret this time in Australia as it has given us the opportunity to form closer ties with them.

My boss in Australia is a little disappointed, but understanding and others in the management team here seemed to empathise with our situation. Back in the UK, I will be returning to Skandia and back to my old job. While, like any company, Skandia is not perfect, I have once again been amazed by the way that they have supported us through this decision to return. Not a bad place to work at all!!

I must apologise for a lack of anything in June and now, as I sit down to write this, I'm struggling to remember all the events that have occurred over the last 6 weeks or so. I am convinced that my memory is deteriorating and that by the time I'm 35 I'll be of no use to man nor beast! Just been reminded of that fantastic section from one of Bryson's books where he tells of having to call his wife to ask why he came into town... Poor old Libby... So maybe I'll start with the most recent events, work backwards and see what driveling nonsense appears.

Last Monday we had our second scan of Terry. And for this I think I'll let Libby tell all!!

After Josh passed out during his acupuncture session a while ago, it was my turn to nearly faint this week when we had our latest ultrasound. It seems that the baby was pressing on the main artery in by back while I was lying flat - While I was gradually feeling more and more faint and before I had said anything, I was wondering how I could be feeling faint when I was lying down. It all passed quickly once I had been helped to sit up - this doesn't normally happen until the last trimester, so the baby must have been pressing down in just the right place! The baby is growing and well, and it’s definitely a privilege to be able to see it for a second time. We had decided not to find out whether it’s a boy or a girl, but then there was a sudden debate when we were actually asked. It's going to be a girl! Well, actually that is just Josh typing a complete lie. After around 5 minutes of "should we, shouldn't we", we stuck to our guns and said we didn't want to know unless it was obvious to us. Josh thinks that he might have seen evidence of it being a boy, but then again, most of the time you think you are looking at, say, a finger and it turns out to be a crayon that I swallowed when I was little. With those Crandon genes, the odds are certainly stacked in favour of it being a boy, but the only things I could see clearly were the head and body, so it’s up to you how seriously you take Josh’s informed opinion!

I will put the pictures on the site once I have scanned them in

Last weekend had the potential for a good deal of stress and exhaustion, but it turned out to be a very enjoyable time. We had full responsibility for the Childerbeasts for the whole weekend. Now I have to say that I did have some apprehensions about this, getting myself prepared for having to call C&N in the middle of the night to tell them that Bertie's arm had fallen off, Tilda had locked herself in the cubby house and Eliza was refusing to eat anything at all. (if you say C&N quickly, it becomes CNN and I really hoped I wouldn't be calling them about the weekend or we'd be in serious trouble!). Turns out that this children lark is a piece of cake! Not a single trip to hospital so you have to consider that a success.

To make sure that I don't get all of those current parents offside, I do understand that it is easy when you can spoil them and then hand them back for the poor parents to pick up your mess - And the only sensible way to attack the weekend was to do provide a number of actually very small treats, built up to be the most exciting things ever!

And speaking of mess... Oh my goodness... Something I am very glad I will not have to deal with for another 2 years is the morning nappy of a 2 and a half year old. I can honestly say I have never dealt with something so grim. Where does it all come from!! I sincerely hope that there is a technique to removing the nappy that is instantly ingrained in you once you have a baby. Maybe the midwives (or midhusbands in overly politically correct days) give you a special injection or plant a chip in you or something... Or maybe you just learn from mistakes.

I have always thought it amusing that parents often wear clothes that are covered in snot and have most of a Weetabix (or Weetbix over here) smeared down the front and now I see... It's not amusing at all, it is inevitable. Within 36 hours, on Sunday morning, I found myself looking at the 2 tops I had in front of me. One, was clean, fresh from the wash, the other, I wore the day before (and so it had snot and a Weetabix liberally sprinkled over it). It only took me 3 seconds to decide to wear the latter! The thought process of parents the world over I am convinced is "What is the point of putting on the clean one and having it made dirty when there is a perfectly acceptable dirty one prepared by the children the day before?". Hey ho...

I find it incredible what they can pick up on too. Libby and I both were reading ordinary books from an adult's eyes, but not to Bertie. I was reading a book by Hugh Laurie called "the gun seller", a book that I would recommend if you are looking for a new one. I'll lend it to you when I get back. I hadn't taken much notice of the cover, but there was a flurry of questions from Bertie about it - "Why's that man got a gun? Why's he pointing it at that mans head? Is he going to shoot him? Is it a real gun?" - They kept coming... no chance of me actually reading any of the book! Then, the next day, he found Libby's Agatha Christie - "Why's that owl got a knife in it? Who put it there?"

One of the minor treats was for Bertie to stay up and watch the Wallabies humiliate the English. It was the result I had predicted and had been shouting around the office just in case my predictions proved to be correct - I don't mind England losing all the time, but it is ever so tiresome that the Australian's seem to win all the time. I find the national pride over here a little too much at time. "Go Aussie!" "Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!". Why are the English sportsmen (and women!) such regular underachievers? - Anyway, apart from the fact that I regretted watching the game at all, I did start to regret having asked Bertie to watch it too. There is only so many times you can tell him that, "no, it is not for the golden cup" and keep your focus on the game at hand. In the end, I told him that it was all over at half time. Now I know that this probably makes me a very bad person, telling porky pies to one so young, but technically it wasn't a lie. It genuinely was all over at half time as far as the result was concerned. The fact that after he trotted off to bed - "so the Wallabies won the golden cup then?" - I foolishly watched the rest of the slaughter is irrelevant. Surely?

We'd spent most of Saturday in and around the house, popping up to Eric's shop to buy some cat food for poor Gilbert - in a family of five, with three of them under 5 years, the sixth member is going to struggle to find a place high up the pecking order. But he is just a cat - The kiddos enjoyed this brief outing at it resulted in ice blocks (or ice lollies to us English). Tilda clearly selected the best one as it left her lips blues from the colouring for a good few hours. Bertie did well sharing, but then it was in his interest. He can take considerably larger bites that the girls. I suppose that this happened to me too, but I don't remember it (nothing new there). Eric's shop is often discussed at the Swann household, mainly because it is hard to understand that someone who owns a convenience shop will only open it from 9-5, Mon-Sat, making it not particularly convenient at all. Once again, surprising what the kids pick up on and comments like "Is that lazy Eric? He just opens the shop when he feels like it." whilst buying the ice lollies are not fantastically well received (and mercifully, not received at all as Eric was out of earshot).

The following day we decided to head into the city. So, after a helping of Monkey Breakfast (cocoa pops), we headed for the light rail which was an exciting thing in itself as they love going on trains. At Darling Harbour there is a great play park, but when there are three of them, you realise that there is no humanly possible way you can keep tabs on all of them at once. Usually the girls stay reasonably close together being twinlets so that they can rule the play ground. Sunday was different and they wanted to do their own thing. While I'm talking about twins, I am coming to the conclusion that having twins would actually be great. I do have some backing for this, but it is too difficult to put in writing and most of you won't have read this far anyway. Still, something to look forward to for Dan and Brigitte!!

So onto the next treat which was to head to Old MacDonald's for lunch to get super-sized. Now, I've been super-sized since getting here without the hand of Ronald MacDonald. Fat Club looms when I return. Since "that" film came out, MacDonald's Australia have desperately been trying to distance themselves from the parent company. Personally, I wouldn't have bothered. People like MacDonald's and know what they are getting into by munching that much lard. The Childer didn't seem to be interested in the posters spurting the "Truth about MacDonald's Australia, the Lies of That Film", but rather the action man figures and the care bears... As was I.

Some of the more rewarding moments were following a bump or knock that resulted in tears. Now I realise that sounds cruel, but scooping them up and cuddling them until the tears stop seeing them back to their usual selves is so affirming. All in all, they were very endearing and well behaved during the whole weekend, and your heart just melts when a snuffly, sleepy child appears by the side of your bed first thing in the morning, wanting to clamber in and have a snuggle.

Think that just about cover's last week end to death!!

But now I have to try to reach into the depths of my weakening mind to think back two weeks... Ah, yes. Libby and I went to see Scotland get beaten by the Wallabies - a bit of a theme you see. First time to see a real live rugby match. I suspect that Libby was hoping that it might help get it out of my system, but alas, it has just fuelled it. Got to get to Twickers at some point. Maybe go to a safe win against the Italians. It was at the Olympic Stadium, which is huge and was even larger at the olympics. We were secretly supporting Scotland, and the real fans were making almost as much noise as the Wallabies' fans. Result, ineventible.

Going back further now... deeper into the recesses of my memory... Nope. Nothing. Just going to rely on Libby to remind me... A few weekend's ago we had a bank holiday for the Queen's birthday. It is very odd that this is "celebrated" out here given how close they came to rejecting the Queen recently (I'm know that there is a proper political phrase for "rejecting the Queen", but can't remember that either!!). Why don’t we get a holiday for this at home? Planning to lobby for it when we’re home, if anyone else is interested in joining us. Anyway we decided to head up to the Blue Mountains to a place called Blackheath. It has the feel of somewhere stuck in time (in a nice way) so it is fairly quaint and quaint is not a word that you can use about most of Australia. Just outside the town is an amazing cliff face called Guvett's Leap. There is a sheer drop of several hundred meters into a forested canyon below, so deep and wide that our eyes and brains couldn’t co-ordinate themselves properly to fully take it in or make any estimate of the scale.

Australians are under the impression that conditions in the mountains during winter are harsher than the Arctic. They know nothing. It was a little chilly when we were there (it does get colder, though), with clear blue skies and bright sunshine. It is true that living somewhere that is so warm for so much of the year has made us much more sensitive to the cold than we would be normally, however, and days when it is 16 or 17 degrees around Sydney do feel really quite winter-y, so it’s probably a good thing that we’ll be coming back to England in the summer and can ease back to the lower temperatures gradually.

And actually I am with the Aussies on this one. I think that the weather here is dreadful. We've had maybe three days with rain in them since we arrived. At the moment, the equivalent of beginning of January, if you work it out in English, it is getting to about 20-22 Celcius during the day and dropping to about 10 at night with rarely a cloud to be seen. I realise that this means that it is great sunny weather, but in many ways the weather is dull - always the same... And without wishing to incite hatred, I have just looked at the BBC weather report and it has those great symbols of black clouds, two rain drops and sunshine all together for the next three days alone. Still we all know that the BBC are unable to predict the weather. John - Bill Giles: "Good night" ;-)

And I think we'll leave it there! Hope to see you all soon.

Much love,

Josh, Libby and Terry